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What If Controlling Less Allowed You To Grow More?

  Steve Scanlon     Sep 30, 2015

controlling less grow more.jpg

Last week some 60 of us gathered in Coronado, California for the purpose of a further Rewiring as individuals and as a group. It was truly a remarkable few days -- evidenced by its lingering and lasting effects on those who came and participated.


You see, most “events” these days aim to offer some semblance of short-term excitement and enthusiasm. It amazes me that we would pay so much money and take so much time only to feel good for just a little while. Maybe it shouldn't amaze me (I mean, I hear drugs and alcoholism are still a thing), but that's an article for another day.

 

Today, I wanted to offer some thinking around one of the lessons that we learned while we were together. It has to do with our desire to control our every circumstance and how poorly we can all behave when we feel out of control. If you remember, Control is one of the key characteristics of the Lizard Brain. It really doesn’t matter who you are, you will (we all will) attempt to control our life and our every circumstance. Thus, learning to embrace the idea that we cannot control everything in life becomes a deep and restorative practice.

 

To practice this, we all subjected ourselves to be trained by Navy SEALs. This was year two of inviting these (almost) inhuman humans to put us through some rigorous training on the beach at sunrise. Thankfully, the training only resembles the stuff that the real SEALs go through.  And yet, one thing they were able to share with us was how to learn to live with discomfort. I don't want to totally give away how they taught us this (although the picture at the top of this article is part of it), but suffice it to say that we were all made very uncomfortable on a number of occasions throughout the training exercise with the SEALs.

 

This lesson lingers with me today because I am beginning to understand that this practice is a metaphor for our work and our very lives. Learning to live with and even embrace the idea that I do not always have to be comfortable is the beginning of learning to live knowing that I cannot control all of my circumstances.

 

This is where the lizard kicks in. So many of us cannot seem to embrace this lack of control.  And, therefore, when even the littlest of things go awry we often act out in a way that is against who we want to be.

 

What would your life and work become if you were able to more readily embrace a lack of control? How much more patient would you be of others and yourself with this new outlook?

 

The good news is that there is a new “wire” ready to be activated in you. It doesn’t happen without effort, but it can happen through practice. And that's when real growth starts to take off!  That's when things get really exciting.

 

Wishing you well along the journey.

  Emotional Intelligence Change Control Lizard Brain Release Work

Steve Scanlon

Written by Steve Scanlon

Steve Scanlon is the Founder and CEO of Rewire. He loves to see people change the way they think and enter new seasons of growth for their work. If you have a couple of hours, ask him about his new golf swing.

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