A police officer knocks on the front door of a man’s house. Behind the officer stands Rick, the man’s neighbor, hands on hips, clearly agitated.
Man: “Hello?”
Officer: “Good evening, sir.”
Man: “What seems to be the problem, officer?”
Officer: “Your next-door neighbor here, Rick, called us. A brick with paper wrapped around it was thrown through his living room window this evening.”
Man: “Right?”
Officer: (holding up his phone with a photo) “You can see it’s got his name written on the paper, correct?”
Man: “Sure.”
Officer: “Well, Rick says that’s your handwriting.”
Man: “Oh, sure, that’s mine.”
Officer: “I’ll just cut to the chase—did you throw this brick through Rick’s front window?”
Man: “I sure did. But, Rick, why’d you call the cops? Didn’t you read what I wrote?”
Rick: “My name?! So what?!”
Man: “No, I wrote a letter on the back of the paper. The name was just so you’d know it was for you! I just wanted to let you know I can house-sit for you next week when you’re out of town.”
Rick: “I have a front door!”
Man: “But it’s solid oak, Rick. Ever tried throwing a brick through a solid oak door? Wouldn’t make it through! And then how would you know I can house-sit?”
This is a ridiculous story. But I hear something like it far too often coaching leaders and top performers struggling with their leaders. It all stems from communication. The leader has something important to say—that’s the note in our story. The brick through the window is how they deliver it.
When I use this metaphor, it always gets a chuckle. Who would communicate by throwing bricks through people’s windows? What makes it even funnier is that the message—the house-sitting offer—is positive! Yet this is exactly the dynamic I see again and again: leaders with many strengths, but communication that hits their people like a brick through a window. Just like our metaphorical brick, this approach leaves messes to clean up and damage to repair.
Why This Happens
Not every cause can be addressed in a short article, so I would love to hear about the causes you see in your work. Drop me a line! But I’ll share the most common one I see:
The main issue I see is a mismatch between what is being communicated and how it’s being communicated.
It’s like the classic “breakup via text” problem: the message’s importance doesn’t match the way it’s delivered.
In communication theory terms (thanks to my Speech Act Theory professor), this is a mismatch between the medium (how you communicate) and the content (what you communicate).
Put simply, it means leaders don’t always use enough real-time interaction—what experts call “haptics”—which includes tone, body language, and immediate feedback. Instead, they rely too much on “optics,” or how the message looks on paper or screen, missing the cues that help people understand and respond.
We’ve all been in meetings that “could have been an email.” But even worse are emails that should have been face-to-face conversations—those cause confusion, frustration, and extra work to fix later.
A Real-World Example
One leader I coached emailed his team late on a Friday to announce a positive operational change: regional operational support would be moving in-office for some areas, and teams would now support different regions. His intention was good—he believed the change would improve efficiency and collaboration.
By Monday, however, his inbox was overflowing. Direct reports were frustrated. People two levels down the org chart were confused. The weekend he’d planned to spend with his family turned into back-to-back phone calls and reply-all threads.
When I asked what he’d do differently with a time machine, he didn’t hesitate: “I’d meet with my people first to get them onboard before rolling it out.”
He thought he didn’t have time for that—but in the end, he spent more time cleaning up misunderstandings than it would have taken to communicate it well in the first place.
In other words, he’d thrown a “house-sitting brick” through his team’s window.
Leadership Takeaway
Match the medium to the message. Sometimes a live, human conversation—even for something you could put in an email—prevents broken glass, misunderstandings, and weekends spent in damage control.
Your Turn:
Where have you seen “brick through the window” communication in your organization? How did it play out—and how was it fixed? Hit reply and share your story. I’ll compile insights for a future article (names kept confidential, of course).
👉 Book a free discovery call to explore how we can support your leadership communication efforts.
--
🗞️ If this resonated with you, there’s more where that came from. Subscribe to our Leadership Insights newsletter for deeper dives, exclusive resources, and actionable strategies to help you build a business that doesn’t just grow—it scales sustainably.
--
Written by: Steve Longan, Director of Coach Training Programs
