We’ve all been there…
The Frustrating Meeting Cycle
You have your Monday morning meeting. Your “all hands.” Your “stand up.”
But then… you circle back the next day, and the next, and progress still isn’t being made.
So you schedule another meeting, add the same topic to the agenda, and hope this time it sticks. Deep down, though, you know it probably won’t.
What’s Your “We Already Talked About This” Topic?
Every team has one. Some examples:
- A policy that isn’t getting followed.
- A responsibility that keeps getting passed off.
- An issue that shows up on the agenda week after week with no progress.
👉 What’s that recurring topic in your organization—the one that won’t move forward?
So What’s Going On Here? Why Do The Same Issues Keep Coming Back?
There are a few hidden dynamics at play when teams stall on change:
- Ownership: People Like Their Own Ideas Best
If you’ve ever lived with a teenager—or remember being one—you know the best ideas are the ones they come up with. In that sense, teenagers are like the people you manage — maybe even the person in the mirror. We like our own ideas because they are ours. When an idea doesn’t feel like ours, it’s harder to defend, commit to, or make stick. Progress stalls because people don’t feel ownership. - With Apologies to Barry Manilow… It’s Normal
In a classic social-science experiment by Gilovich, Medvec and Savistky, study participants walked into a meeting wearing a t-shirt with a giant Barry Manilow headshot emblazoned across the front. Most of the participants wearing the shirt thought everyone would notice. In reality? Only about 20% did.
And that’s the norm. It’s such a stable (and replicated) dynamic that researchers have dubbed it “the spotlight bias” in personal psychology: We think other people are attuned to what we’re projecting. But most of them are more concerned about what they’re projecting. And this is often what’s happening with our chosen topics in our meetings. We’re concerned about what we’re bringing to the meeting, but our people aren’t attuned to that -- they’re attuned to their own contributions, Barry Manilow or otherwise.
Now That We Know, What Can We Do About It? How Do We Break The Cycle?
Here are three ways to shift the dynamic and build momentum:
- Lean Into Repetition.
Instead of resisting it, embrace it. Let your team know this topic will keep getting attention until progress is made. Your consistent energy is catalytic—it signals importance. - Transfer Ownership.
Since people buy into their own ideas, ask them:
- What approach do you want to try?
- How long should we give it before evaluating?
- What support do you need from me?
Shifting the energy from your push to their pull fuels real change.
- Build Connection Before Solving Problems.
Progress accelerates when people feel engaged, respected, and connected. Ask yourself:
- Are they attuned to one another?
- Do they feel a sense of team energy?
Strengthening rapport first makes problem-solving much more effective.
The Next Step
Think about the issue that keeps resurfacing in your own meetings. Could ownership, spotlight bias, or lack of attunement be the real barrier?
👉 Book a free discovery call and share your team’s “Barry Manilow topic.” Let’s unpack what’s behind it and explore strategies to finally get things moving.
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Written by: Steve Longan, Director of Coach Training Programs
